Thursday, January 14, 2010

My husband

I wrote the poem below this post and I shared it with my dear sweet husband. Here is his response, via text because he was in the OR working.

"She is watching over us. I am sorry I could not protect her. I let you down. I am sorry."

Those words
have me
in tears
My heart is

He truly does grieve different than me. How am I surviving this? Am I surviving this? Is this how life is to be?
Is my heart going to be broken forever?

Thank you for listening, whoever is out there.


  1. I'm listening.

    For what its worth I don't think life will ever, ever go back to how it was. I feel my daughter's absence every second of every day. It aches but I am learning to live with it. Surviving is a good word for describing the first year or so. After a while it becomes a bit more than surviving and becomes living again. Still not the same as what it was.

    I don't think you get over it but at a certain point you begin to get on with it.

    I am so sorry you have to go through this.

  2. Your husband's words have me in tears too. I don't know how we survive the deaths of our children but we do, somehow.
    I can't say it better than Sophie already has. Life is never the same again but at some point you start to flicker between just continuing to breathe and surviving and slowly, very slowly you start to live again. But you can never go back.
    I'm so sorry that you and your husband have had to go through such pain. x

  3. This is really beautiful. I think your husband's words reflect what a lot of "our guys" are thinking. He said it brilliantly, concisely, poignantly. Thank you for sharing. I'm really sorry for your loss.